


Comfort

by babybrotherdean



Series: Kink Meme Fills [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caretaking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 12:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6957301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybrotherdean/pseuds/babybrotherdean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Try as he might, Sam cannot, for the life of him, remember a time when Dean hasn’t slept with a pacifier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> A [fill for the spn kink meme](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/110195.html?thread=41154931#t41154931)! Prompt is as follows:
> 
> _It doesn't matter what season, but Dean gets nervous at sleeping without a pacifier. Up to author if he gets into a little headspace when he needs one, but I wouldn't mind it at all. But mainly, Sam just always makes sure he has his paci with him when he needs to sleep, because his brother was never able to sleep without it._

Try as he might, Sam cannot, for the life of him, remember a time when Dean hasn’t slept with a pacifier. As a child, he never questioned it; between their little family of three, it’d become one of those things they just didn’t talk about or acknowledge. At Stanford, when he’d dabbled in a few psychology courses, Sam had decided it was a matter of coping- Dean had lost his mother at a very young age, and had his entire childhood ripped away in the same fell swoop; it was only natural for him to try to cling to it in whatever was might’ve been available to him at the time. Sam doesn’t know if Dean used them as a toddler, before the fire, or if it’d been a new development afterwards- he’d been far too young to remember, and he can’t even imagine asking John- but they’ve been a constant presence ever since, even late into Dean’s teens and adult years. Sam has never seen an issue with it, and it remains a quiet fact of their strange little lives.

Somewhere along the way- among angels, demons, monsters, and an apocalypse or two- they’ve stumbled their way into a more-than, a something-else. Sam doesn’t know how to label their relationship anymore, their backwards and upside-down dynamic that shifts with all the consistency of a tossed die, but it’s somehow, inexplicably and improbably theirs. They take care of each other in every way they know how and every way they really shouldn’t, sutures and smiles and support and- 

And, well, Sam doesn’t think too hard about the rest.

It’s been a hell of a bumpy road to get where they are- between baddies, settled in their first real home since the fire, and reaching for something that’s dangerously close to domesticity- but every fight, every sacrifice, every scar they’ve earned along the way has been worth it for little moments like this.

He doesn’t know when he started taking care of Dean like this. Of course, Dean’s still his older brother; still an over-protective asshole when he wants to be, and more often than not, clamouring to coddle Sam however he can manage. It’s endearing and stifling and a whole lot of other things, but Sam figures it’s okay when he gets the chance to balance it out.

The pacifier, of course, is a given. Sam’s taken it upon himself to be responsible for cleaning them, making sure they’re fresh and ready for Dean every night before bed. That’s where it started, and it’s grown since, into something- well. Into _something_.

Dean’s already in bed when Sam enters his bedroom, slipping inside quietly and closing the door behind him. They rarely bother sleeping in separate beds anymore; even separate rooms have always been a struggle for them, and Sam doesn’t waste any time moving to join his big brother.

One of the things that Sam has come to learn about Dean is that he has a certain vulnerability to him when he’s tired. A sleepy Dean is a soft one, one who regresses a little and looks at Sam like he’s hung the moon, all big, trusting eyes and fingers that tend to catch in Sam’s clothes to hold him close. Another thing that they don’t talk about, but Sam doesn’t much mind- if it means he gets to keep this particular Dean all to himself, then he isn’t going to complain.

“Sammy,” Dean says as Sam crawls into bed with him, and he already looks sleepy, eyelids drooping and body relaxed where he’s curled himself under the blankets. Dean reaches out for him immediately and Sam pulls his brother into his arms, letting Dean settle against his chest, clinging to him like a baby koala holds onto its mother. It’s a familiar position and Dean sighs, relaxing even further.

Sam’s the one who deals with the next part, reaching over for the clean pacifier on the bedside table and bringing it over. They’ve got a few, now, but he remembers those few nights, scattered over the years, when they found themselves without a proper one to use- nights when Dean would drift off with his own fingers in his mouth, sometimes Sam’s. Temporary solutions for a problem they’re better off not needing to face in the first place, one that’s become nearly obsolete now with somewhere to call home.

“Open wide,” Sam murmurs even though he doesn’t need to, and watches as Dean’s mouth opens for him to ease the teat inside. Dean’s eyelashes flutter once it’s resting on his tongue, and he breathes out soft through his nose as Sam’s fingertips brush over his lips. There’s something fragile about these moments, but Sam’s gotten good at knowing where his boundaries are- that touching Dean is okay, but that it needs to be gentle and platonic. There are all sorts of unspoken little rules to which he abides when it comes to taking care of his big brother. 

“Night, Dean.” And Dean’s already got his eyes closed, and Sam can feel his breathing starting to even out as he works the pacifier in his mouth, but Sam pets down his back anyways, a soothing motion for the both of them while they drift off to sleep.

Sam doesn’t know if there’s a name for what he has with his brother, but he’s long since decided that it doesn’t matter so long as it makes them both happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
